Braid

Ok, Braid.  We get it.  You are awesome.  You are a gorgeously rendered, masterfully scored work of art breathing new life into the 2d platforming genre as never before.  Time control?  Yes Please!  Saving the princess?  Hallelujah.  She's in another castle?!  You're killing me.  The game is difficult, innovative, rewarding.  In short a gem.

But this ending.  Can we talk about this MindF@#$ of an ending???

Ahem.

You build me up.  You teach me.  You guide me.  You punish and redirect me.  Your love is righteous.  And all the while you promise me that my efforts will be rewarded.  With love.  The sweet and gentle love... of a lady.  The love of my life.   The princess.  I fight and fight, and yearn and yearn.  All for she.  My preciousssssss....

But then!!!

The mallet drops.  My world is shattered.  I am naught but a pawn of my own deluded psyche.  She wants me not.  She yearns not for my touch but for the utter eradication of my presence from her sight, indeed her entire life.  There is another beau that has caught her eye.  A haughty, handsome knight with whom the likes of I could never compete.  My heart is rent asunder.  I am the villain.  The foe.  The creepy guy who jumps on your balcony at night and says, "Surprise!  I'm your stalker!!  Will you MARRY ME?!?!"

Ok, guys.

I get it.

You're artists.  Innovators.  Reinventing something olde and classic in a way that is not only fresh but inspiring.  But let's take a look at your target 'demo'.  This is a gamer's game.  DLC only.  INDIE.  The kinds of people who are going to buy and play and LOOOVE this game are people like myself.  Hardcore.... nerds.  We identify with this character far too much.  I've heard of catharsis, but I don't really want a game that helps me piece together that the reason cute girl in the purple tank top keeps looking at me and moving to the next aisle over in the supermarket is not because she is flirting with me, but because she is doing the exact opposite.  She is fleeing for her life with a cart full of ramen and dismay.  Shame on you genius game developers.  Shame on me for trusting you.  I went from feeling like a guy who thought he had a chance to Captain Creepy.  For shame.